Dating and Astrology Part II

If you haven’t already — go back and read part I. Since part I, I’ve dabbled a bit more with astrology — through books, through chats with my body astrologer, and through putting thoughts and ideas to practice in real life dates. Yes, sometimes I treat my dates like guinea pigs — boys beware.

I get asked a lot if I seriously ask for a birth time before a first date. Unless it comes up — aka they responded to that prompt on my hinge profile and are genuinely interested — then, no. I most definitely do not. Balance people. come on. That’s coming in really strong. That said, I’m a big fan of when someones profile does say what their sign is (ex: bumble has an option to let that be known). If we’re in one of those ask a bunch of questions to qualify if they’re first date worthy, sometimes I do ask for a birthday (note day not time) — so I can get their sun sign. This is a little weird, but not freak flag weird. That being said, I don’t not go out with a person just because of their sign. People are so much more than their sun signs, it’s really not fair to do that.

BUTTTT it does give me some insight on a what some of their character attributes may be. i also have a rough history with cancer men and am not sure i’m ready to put myself through that rollercoaster ride again just yet — i dates two men with the same name and same sun sign back to back (needless to say it was a test of sorts). please Note, I’m not a trained astrologer, but I’ve picked up on some things in my research and personal experience. Also note, there are exceptions to the rule. I’m having fun with this (please don’t take it all too seriously, we are each our own lovely, unique, beings — these are generous mass judgements). I will also update as I continue dating because I currently know more about some signs than others —

sun signs

aries — the man boy, but also a trailblazing leader who doesn’t let anything get in his way // usually is fighting for the greater good. he’s literally a forever 5-7 year old.

taurus — he likes nice, plushy, materialistic things, loves being at home and nesting, and also isn’t into drama.

gemini — the twins aka can have multiple personalities, but also highly sociable and fun to be around — often a good fuck buddy. he’s a forever teenager.

cancer — the sensitive, emotional guy who loves to host — friends and family are super important to them so you better get along with them or at least fake it till you make it.

leo — has the heart of a lion and is generally very stable, but also playful and affectionate. They generally inspire a lot of joy and make you feel good.

virgo — the type-a judgemental neat freak. The good news, their bathroom is spotless, the bad news, they’re v critical not only of you but of themselves.

libra — the romantic. super charming, generally very artistic but confrontation and they tend towards people pleasing.

scorpio — they’re intense. they have lots of feelings and are super passionate. the flips side of that is a deep dark well of emotion.

sagittarius — the adventurer. often super free spirited, which makes them hard to pin down.

capricorn — ambitious and grounded. these are the reliable ones people.

aquarius — the free thinking man who’s big time into self experession in some way shape or form. they think outside the box but that often leads them live in their own little world and get bored easily when they come down to earth.

pisces — so many feelings and lots of compassion. that said it’s easy for them to lose themselves in other peoples problems and have trouble setting boundaries.

now, i’m sure you’re wondering, this is all great but i’ve heard the sun sign doesn’t mean much — how the moon and rising comes into play? Well, first off, you need a birth time to figure those out. You also need a birth time to figure out someones human design, which i love to know and makes a lovely conversation starter.

once you do have a birth time, you can plug it into an online astrology calculator. I like to use cafe astrology. It’s free and easy to understand // navigate. It will give you a chart and also a description of what each thing means. But, before you dive in there, it’s important to have a high level understanding of the following —

sun vs. moon vs. rising:

sun sign = the personality traits that remain constant throughout ones life

moon sign = one’s inner most self // the private, emotional, beneath-the-surface parts of ones personality

rising sign = how other’s see you // the impression you give to the world

what each plant rules:

mercury = mind + communication

venus = love + creativity + values

mars = physical exertion + initiative + sexuality

jupiter = good fortune + expansion + abundance

saturn = responsibility + restraint + ambition

uranus = intuition + rebellion + revolution

neptune = spirituality + compassion + imagination

pluto = surrender + transformation + power

So, how do we use this to our advantage when we don’t have a body astrologer to email?

it all starts with getting the birth time.

story time: I was on a first date last week. human design came up. he wanted to know what he would be. I said we could figure it out but we need a birth time. he pulls up his non-US birth certificate on his phone (this is rare) and it doesn’t have a birthtime. so he proceeds to text his mother, who mind you, is on vacation.

i end up getting the birth time post the lovely date and go to town immediately. we were already compatible and both up for a round two, but just how compatible long term could we be? that’s what this is helpful for. nothing will change the initial chemistry you feel with a person or the ease of conversation flow or annoying ticks (lol).

first off he’s a generator — which being a manifestor, I’m a fan of but will get to that in another post. then i look up the birth chart. we already knew he was an aquarius based on his birthday. he screamed aquarius through our conversation and it resonated with me because my moon and rising are both in aquarius — i get him and his woo woo // often being in his own little universe // he had some male witchiness to him, which i wasn’t mad about. what blew my mind was the fact that his moon is in taurus and rising is in virgo. the moon, as we just learned, is your inner most self. taurus types tend to be home bodies and like the nice things in life. he’s into clothing, was dressed quite nicely (mind you a bit diff — that’s the aquarian) for someone in SF. the answer to his “where you’ll find me after work” prompt was at home. no funny business here. he was sharing his innermost self and i’m into that. the virgo rising is the energy he gives off to the world. My virgo, type-a energy. this is why the read receipts were on, why he sends the locate my uber, etc. i put a poll on my instagram stories that said is he secure attachment type or just a psychopath. I had to laugh, though most of you wrote in secure, there were more than i would have imagined that said psychopath. This reinstates the fact that it’s just his nature.

last but not least, i like to look at mercury and venus. the planets of (1) communication and (2) love. His mercury is in aquarius. we know this resonates with my moon and rising, but it also means they have beautiful, inventive minds. they think outside the box and push people to expand their minds beyond complacency. his venus is in pisces. this means he’s highly sensitive and gentle in love — his soul has the ability to demonstrate the highest form of love which is unconditional, transcendent, and nonjudgemental. however, because their empathy is so strong, they tend towards attracting needy people (ahem my anxious skewing attachment style). All of this reinstates the fact that i am interested in the second date. does it change the way i feel about him? no. does it give me a better understanding of our interaction, how to communicate with him, and what his drives are? 100 percent.

I hope this example was helpful and happy to share a few more // maybe juxtapose this with someone who i didn’t hit it off with, if i can snag their birthtime.

questions // comments // fun astrology stories? leave them below or message me over on @nowheylady. XO